Going out is hard but staying in can be adventurous!
Frankly finding time to date while being newlyweds and new parents should be an Olympic sport! As a new mom, I barely have time for myself far less finding the time to be a wife to my husband. You bring life into this world and almost completely forget about the life you had before. This is how it's supposed to be right? At least that is what they tell you.
I mean this guy helped me bring that little life into this world. I could not have done it without him and I wouldn't want to. Husbands usually get the short end of the stick when babies are born. Some women, myself included, would argue that its a fair trade off since we had to carry around the load for 9 months. But, we all must agree that appreciation and attention should be given not only to him but to the relationship as well.
Okay so back to this Olympic sport. It is not for the faint of heart. It takes extreme planning, strategy, heart and determination. There is no room for excuses. Last weekend was my first date night in months and I was so excited. The planning started 3 weeks before. I had a babysitter, the outfit and venue. My husband and I talked about it over and over and shared how excited we were. FINALLY….FREEDOM!
The day came and we made sure the babysitter knew exactly what to do. We went through the entire drill — prepared our clothes, spoke to our son about us leaving ( assuming he understood) and put him to bed. We were over the moon. This is going way better than we expected. We even had some extra time to kill so we decided to lay down for a bit. You know, enjoy each other's company ALONE...the parental version of pregaming also known as “get it in while you can!”
Fast forward to the next morning, my husband and I were still in bed , clothes laid out and waiting to be worn. It was yet another foiled date night. We were very disappointed in ourselves! All this time and effort wasted.
Studies have shown that date nights improve marriages. It is vital to a healthy, long lasting and happy union. It allows you to remember who you were and who you are. Finding time and energy to date is hard, especially with added responsibilities such as your career, parenthood and daily struggles. Dating your spouse provides opportunities for communication, novelty, eros, strengthening, commitment and de-stressing. When you continue courting and finding exciting new things to do together, it brings a sense of thrill to your marriage. Dating allows you to fall in love with each other over and over again.
Date night does not have to be elaborate or expensive, all you need is an honest effort from both parties. I found that I placed so much effort in making the “date night” perfect and grand that I lost sight of the little things. Date nights at home can be so much more romantic , comfortable and CHEAP. I can wear the sexiest “bingo bags” I own , he can throw on his grey sweatpants that I love, order in and still have the great experience we were going after. Maybe the “bingo bags” are a stretch but you get my point.
Finding the balance is hard. Finding the time and energy is even harder. There are many date night ideas that are fun and affordable. Make do with what you have and make it sexy. Stay in, dress up ( some sexy lingerie or his favourite dress) , enjoy some role play and keep it sexy. Going out is hard but staying in can be adventurous!